i don’t know what day it is lol..i stopped counting a few posts ago. i’ll get back into numbering when the hcg diet starts up again!!

i’ve been meeting to write to you all for so long, but i flew straight into a minimester right out of the spring semester…k i l l e r. i’m ready for Christmas break!!!! D: lol

my workouts have done me well lately. today was the first day i really stared myself down in the mirror while i was lifting 20 lb weights. yes, TWENTIESSS!!! and i looked once, twice, and again… and the only thought going through my mind was hot damn. seriously. like is this really my body?! i’ve made some AMAZING progress. not in scale numbers, but in measurements and body composition. and it is definitely starting to show. this is my sixth month of hardcore training, and im glad im starting to really see results. im proud. so fucking proud.

my eating habits (i don’t like calling it a diet all the time) have been really superb as well. i’ve had that same trouble with weekends, but it’s  getting better. gradually. nonetheless, better. the other day i came home from the gym and looked in the fridge. and then two seconds later i was eating an apple. this seems so silly, but i was literally thinking what the fuck?!? i didn’t even have to think twice about eating clean. it has become so natural to me!!! and i love it :) now, i enjoy treats twice as much as i would have a year ago. because now it really is a special treat!

i’m also studying for the certified personal trainer exam!!!!!! in between school and work, i’ll take the exam before august :) quite a pricey exam though… like $600 pricey. :O talk about some serious motivation to pass the first time! lol

in the meantime, i started another blog dedicated to fitness and nutrition. it’s not complete, and i don’t know when i’ll officially launch/announce it. but it’s really a work of art. i get nervous thinking about how others will judge. i can’t get past it really. it’s hard. what if i’m not enough?

so, in short, this is my life lately! been a ride to say the least. four more classes this summer, then flying straight into the fall semester. fingers crossed, as a CPT! ;)

one more thing.. you’re worth it. whatever it is, you are so fucking worth it.

xoxo

sum

here………..

promise.

just movin’ right along. and getting ready to start another round of hcg.

yes, i just openly admitted my insanity once again.

it’s on its way from china or india or somewhere, and i’m still here.

somerdazesummernights:

on a new blog project I can’t wait to share with you all!!!!

a little nervous, but SO THRILLED to make the big reveal (hopefully by next week, fingers crossed)

xoxoxo

sum

are the devil.

and then i get on tumblr and stare at pro-ana shit.

i am so triggered to relapse right now. what an awful feeling. it’s sad and i’m anxious.

i’m only human, though. and i do miss feeling empty sometimes. it’s a sick and twisted kinda high.

kay, reality check.

i fucked up this weekend.

i don’t know why it only happens on the weekends. at first, it wasn’t terrible. it was literally one innocent bite of a piece of cake. six hours later, it was ice cream galore and rice krispies and all kinds of shit.

today was very similar. but just ice cream. lol

it’s so good though, i actually enjoyed every bite. but i wish i could get through one month without cheats and see my hard work pay off. because 2 days every weekend is 8 days out of the month i could be losing weight…AN ENTIRE WEEK of good eating that i ruin so easily.

if i really could eat what i wanted i would’ve gone for a cheeseburger or pizza. three weeks. maybe i can try to pull this off.

got through an entire week of clean eating and tough training, ANDDD i’m in the middle of finals.

WIN.

my mom went all betty crocker on me this week and bought pizza. temptation everywhere. DOESN’T MATTER.

i had casein pudding and strawberries for dessert. ALL set ;)

i think i’m down 2 lbs this week as well.. ? lol A+ FOR MEEEEEE

only three weeks till a cheat day lololol

i got this. really!

oh, and I did my hardcore stairmaster HIIT again. SO SORE. and i LOVE it. kinda, not really. but kinda. lol

i really don’t want to work right now, so i’ll talk to you instead ;)

today, my cardio WAS SO AMAZING. anddddd, i did all 30 mins of it ON THE STAIRMASTER. that’s what im gonna call it, cause stairmill sounds stupid lol. i did HIIT the entire way through. (high intensity interval training- 1 minute normal pace, 1 minute as fast as i can possibly move). IT WAS T O U G H. but i really enjoyed it for some odd reason.

i think i finally got the same high off of it that i used to love getting from running. ive never gotten that feeling from cycling, and that shit is so boring. so maybe this will work for awhile, and give me more booty empowerment. lmao

my ass does exist, fyi. it REALLY EXISTS.

diet is really great.

overall, awesome blossom.

besos,

omg my playlist is filled with don omar and daddy yankee lol dont judge, there’s white ppl shit on their too. and tiesto hahahah

bye!!!!!

i really can’t do it.

can’t bring myself to take a picture.

i’ve tried, really.

maybe later. this week has been hell.

at least i look good though. :) i don’t feel well, but i look good.

i promise i’m done reblogging my own face lol

it’s just my own way of being prideful.

no one else is going to like publicly declare to the world that they’re so fucking proud of me. so, for a split second, i’ll do it myself in my own way. ;)